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She describes having been “on the fence about coming out,” attributing her hesitancy to the difficulty of finding other lesbians in the Harvard community who looked and acted as she did.“I didn’t know anybody who was like me that was gay, too,” she recalls.“I’m really comfortable because I spent a year finding lesbians all over Massachusetts.I spent an entire year finding lesbians,” she says. Huckins ’16 met at an open house for the Office of BGLTQ Student Life at the beginning of the school year and have been happily dating since—but they’re the exception.She may have served a mission as an ultimatum to herself.Girls aren't socially required to be missionaries, unlike men.“The markers for being a gay male are very recognized by society,” says Lynne S.Peskoe ’14, who identifies as bisexual and interns at the BGLTQ Office of Student Life.

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“I could not tell you what defines a lesbian on the Harvard campus,” says Sasanka N.“You can’t just go up to somebody and say, ‘Hey, I heard you’re queer.’” The desire for a larger, more visible lesbian community extends well beyond a desire for romance.“We’ve been through this non-normative experience,” says Linda M.There are nine guys who are gay and one girl who is queer.” Jinadasa recounts breaking up with her boyfriend last year partly because she wanted to have a relationship with a woman.After an unsuccessful search for gay females, she is now back together with her boyfriend.Lauer ’14 speaks softly and wears her long blonde hair knotted in a ponytail.Lauer is a Peer Advising Fellow and a volunteer at the Phillips Brooks House Association; she holds an on-campus job and made her best friends during a pre-orientation program and over long conversations in Annenberg."I think the gay male population is much more visible than the lesbian community, and I don’t know why that is.It’s something I’ve always thought about, but I’m just not sure...Female students who identify as gay, especially those like Lauer who are not involved in specifically queer groups, recount trying and often failing to find other women of their sexual orientation.“That’s so real, that’s such a real frustration,” says Linda M. After she came out during freshman year, Buehler made it her mission to seek out other queer-identifying women in the area to whom she could look for support.

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