I won't say it's been fairy-tale perfect—the kind of perfect that makes you barf and roll your eyes—but it's been pretty damn close.
My wife has been incredibly GGG, and I hope I have been, too. Now you know there's at least one couple out there whose sex life has only gotten better over the years.
It helped that we shared some kinks and were both up for what we agreed would be a nice and mostly companionate marriage. Turns out he needed that emotional attachment to feel safe and secure enough to open up and relax and enjoy himself. All it took for the sex to get better was practice and paying attention to cues and solving problems.
I strongly suspect that perseverance and a bit of luck were also major factors.
I did allow for the possibility that my sample was skewed; people with good sex lives don't write to tell me everything's fine.
So I invited people whose so-so sex lives improved after the wedding to write in.
Better Erotic Ties Totally Enhanced Relationship Last week, I responded to IMDONE, a woman who married a man despite the sex being "infrequent and impersonal" during their courtship.
I was a very experienced woman (five years as a swinger and partners numbering in the high double digits) when I first met the man who would become my husband. We also had an amazing friendship, and we were never as happy apart as we were together. We went from once a month to a couple times a week. It's not as frequent as it once was, but it's really good when we have it. Am I the first or the hundredth person to write in? I suspect you don't see it in your inbox very often because this isn't what most people would consider a problem and we don't want to waste your time!We also have plenty of sex that isn't P in V, which takes the pressure off both of us.I imagine you probably don't hear from folks like us because, in addition to being less likely, we don't have much to write in about. Counseling Helped Our Marriage Persist My sex life actually did get better after I married my partner.It sounds cheesy, but marriage counseling really helped.It helped my husband understand himself and his reactions better, and it helped cement the idea of "ours" instead of "yours" as it related to the problems I was dealing with at the time.So I told her about my kink, fully expecting that it would result in the collapse of my marriage.We didn't speak about it for a week, and then she calmly asked me if I wanted to do this with her instead of just watching porn about it. I have some physical ailments that can make sex painful.If you had known us 25 years ago, Dan, you would not have given us good odds.We'd been dating only a year and a half when we got engaged, and we'd known each other less than two years.Practice, Practice, Practice My sex life improved after marriage.I am a straight male with a highly stigmatized kink.