I didn’t want to be embarrassed any longer and I didn’t want to run in circles all my life.
I didn’t want to feel trapped anymore and disgusted with myself.
The longer I sat on these words without distracting myself with something else, the longer I thought maybe they’re right. I always had to run away from my loneliness and boredom.
Maybe this is why I lack aspiration, maybe this why I run in circles? I was just a sheep following the flock; it was the norm, and I wasn’t strong enough to forge my own path because I didn’t know what that path was.
In fact, I felt stuck; I didn’t have the tools to deal with these strong emotions.
So there are million dollar industries like pornography, brothels, strip clubs that teach us if you have a craving, best to get it sorted.
We have sex with people we don’t like, so we no longer feel our craving.
But this only stops our craving for a second, and not before long, there it is again; the same craving, and what do we do, the only thing we know how, we rush off trying to satisfy it once again.
We can see how it is always harmful and how it continues to leave our loneliness, restlessness, boredom, lack of meaning and in turn our suffering untouched, only covered over by fruitless attempts to satisfy it.