Like I said above, a lot of guys don’t realize that when you hold , which is not a sign of strength, but of weakness.While anger is a natural emotion, and necessary for healing and moving on at times, ultimately it is being controlled by your emotions.Women often are passive-aggressive and manipulative, especially in divorce proceedings.Many women are attention seekers and claim to be “independent” when in reality they suck men in their lives dry of every bit of emotional and financial capital. And, hating an individual woman who has wronged you is totally understandable.
They should start working out (Insanity is an intense workout that we love), learning charisma (check out The Charisma Myth for tips), and learning how women think. The good news is that women are usually attracted to personality more than looks.This is also a situation where the rest of the group (or the idea or threat of them) can help – as in, stop exchanging private communications with him.It doesn’t mean sharing what he said with the group (unless he escalates or gets mean or even more inappropriate, in which case I think it’s okay to share what’s happening to you), but it might mean communicating only in forums that are visible to everyone and not responding to private communications from him.Sometimes it makes me angry, like when a coworker asked me out, and after I politely said no, claimed he hadn’t been asking me out in “that way” at all, and then stopped talking to me, which makes me peevish because what the hell.What if it had been someone I actually need to work with? A casual friend who happened to go through a divorce at the same time as me tried really hard to get with me just because it was happening to us at the same time. This guy is sweet and kind and as two people who are working on memoirs, we know some deep shit about each other. The blame and socialization you received from childhood is backed up by our sexist culture – as in, a non-zero number of these men would probably readily agree that it’s a little bit your fault they like you that way and it’s a lot your job to make them feel better about it, and that sucks, but that still doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you or that they’re right about any of this! ), maybe work on detaching from these guys and their feelings and find a way to practice reminding yourself that it’s not your work to soothe them or to make yourself smaller (SERIOUSLY, THAT’S YOUR WRITING, YOU GET TO KEEP DOING YOUR WRITING) in order to soothe them.To be absolutely clear, you shouldn’t have to soothe the feelings of an adult professional man who is being inappropriate, especially one you are paying for a service, but sometimes I think that it’s strategically valuable to find a way to let the guy save face if you still need work out of him.You can save your real feelings for the Yelp review you’ll write later.Also, the comments section here isn’t your place to take out all your toxic anger issues and rage. Many people know women who are bitter, angry, dramatic, manipulative, and will take a grudge to an almost irrational extreme.Many people have horrible experiences with their mothers, ex-wives, colleagues, etc.So, a guy can change his personality and get over this type of hate.By the way, I want to add a few words of empathy here.