And keeping a mistress in an apartment—that can run in the hundreds of thousands." Durvasula believes smartphones and social media have helped contribute to what she says is a shocking rise in marital infidelity. When you think about it, it's downright quaint these days to imagine a mistress calling a man's home and hanging up when his wife answers. Now people can literally cheat on their spouses while lying right next to them in bed." Durvasula says changes in the rhythm of a relationship—like a spouse who suddenly seems absent or detached, or even overly involved—can be a clue that one partner is straying. "You don't have to be freakin' Magnum PI." Get hitched at Mc Donald's...no, really! Without hardcore evidence, many suspicious spouses seek the aid of a private investigator—a costly undertaking that usually leads to bad news, as Brad Robinson knows all too well."We've created the ultimate cheating tools," she said. Robinson, a senior partner at The Millenium Group Private Investigation Agency in West Palm Beach, Florida, says there's no shortage of players in the dicey (and pricey) game of spousal subterfuge.The first day will cost you ,800." So while having an affair is expensive, eluding capture can increase the cost exponentially.And even so, it's all pocket change compared to the price of actually getting caught. Kessler says infidelity is the top issue in divorce cases, and that the adulterer is usually the one who pays the "worst-case-scenario" price.Robinson said many of his targets are trophy wives ("he's 70, she's 26") or successful businessmen whose privileged status gives them "a sense of invulnerability." "They think they're smarter than everyone else. "These guys are constantly co-signing on loans and buying their girlfriends condos.We followed a guy who was taking his girlfriend to five-star steakhouses and taking his wife to Denny's.It seems as though more and more people are moving away from workplace affairs, and Biderman thinks that's partially due to women's more active role in affairs.
Instead it's an easily justifiable place to be, and he points out you only need to pick a coffee shop a few blocks away from work for the chances of running into someone to plummet."A man might wind up paying 75 percent of his income to his ex-wife.It's a way to avoid attorneys, avoid embarrassment and avoid getting the girlfriend involved." Kessler adds that sometimes a person just wants to do the right thing."Secret cell phones, airline tickets, secret credit cards, hotel rooms—the costs can be astronomical," said Ramani Durvasula, 48, a licensed clinical psychologist."I know a woman and her lover who would book a hotel room to the tune of ,500 a week.The husband paid us for everything—airplane travel, hotels, restaurants.Of course, when we got there, she was doing more than shopping." Robinson, an ex-CIA operative, and his partner, a former FBI investigator, provide services that include photo surveillance, video surveillance and GPS car tracking."It's amazing how many people will say, 'just give her the money.I don't want it'." After all the numbers are added up, however, the experts agree on one thing: The highest cost of infidelity is the emotional one."As a woman, I didn't have to put any money out, but still, the cost to me was incalculable," she recalled."All the lying, the guilt, knowing I hurt someone I really loved—and still do love—I have to live with that the rest of my life." Silver splitters: Divorcing retirees and house prices Thomas Galiano, a social worker and self-help author who now counsels couples on infidelity, said he was able to repair his marriage after a five-year affair but that he and his wife still bear residual emotional scars.