I knew about mental illness, but I didn’t really understand personality disorders. Then he would appear again, and charm me and I’d think I was overreacting, or had him wrong. And I certainly wouldn’t recognize a sociopath if he bought me dinner. But I see now, as an experienced serial cheater, he was gaging my whereabouts. They say this is the hallmark of the narcissist — they suck at gifts. ) He did some grand gestures, but they always involved something for him too — a nice dinner out, a trip somewhere (that we went Dutch on). Once he recycled something he gave his mother and she didn’t like it. What will you look for in the future so you don’t get chumped again? Because the abuser suffers from internal discomfort and conflicts they don’t know how to address, no amount of logic, submissiveness or kindness will be enough to compensate or satisfy their insecurities.Others have feelings of detachment or isolation; their self-worth and self-esteem are lowered.Stress has been credited for up to 75% of all hospital stays.
The long term cumulative effects of abuse are often difficult to quantify.
Many victims successfully suppress or try and forget unwanted and painful memories.
For them the past becomes difficult to access or memory gaps exist.
Wouldn’t it be nice if every toxic person just came with a giant forehead tattoo? How did you discover you were dating a flaming personality disorder and not a mild-mannered government employee? To my knowledge, I’d never been cheated on (of course you could argue, I was a chump, how would I know?
Then you could really sort the wheat from the chaff. And we have the therapy and legal bills to prove it. (No offense to our hard working civil servants, I mistakenly assumed a 20 year career in a federal bureaucracy meant my ex would be a solid, if dull choice.) Did I see signs? ) It was really beyond me to imagine that some people are predatory and are capable of living a double life.