It would be pretty disheartening to be semi-attached to someone else’s child and then one day never see them again. If the kid isn’t yours, you aren’t entitled to visits and things that biological parents have set up. Developmental and growth differences could be insulting if critiqued the wrong way, and then behavioral issue even worse.
Everyone has a different style of parenting and teaching, and the last thing I need to be around is a kid that never stops screaming. Men with kids often times feel like them having a kid too is an automatic pass for a group play date or trip to Disneyland together.
I love my kid, but she’s difficult at times and I just can’t imagine having to deal with someone else’s! If he doesn’t have the extra funds to take me out and do nice things for me during the courting process, I’d rather just be alone. It could be in the middle of the night, right before a planned meet, or not calling or texting back, but he’ll expect a pass if it’s in relation to his child.
It’s also the perfect strategy to make you feel stupid or dramatic if you don’t buy the excuse.
I’d be leaving more than just him if it went wrong.
A breakup is not so simple when children are involved. There’s too much potential for comparing our kids that could become ugly.
They say, “This world already has enough problems; you don’t need to add this one (meaning an interracial relationship) to the mix.” My parents have always been loving and supportive, and it seems so silly that they are basing their judgment of him purely on the color of his skin.
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Whether he has multiple children or just one and they were born yesterday or 20 years ago, I have zero interest in dealing with a man who has children.
There are many societies where the whole family sleeps in one room, and making the transition into this family by sleeping together may be a helpful step.
As the girl becomes a teen and wants to have friends stay over, having her design a room of her own would be the next transition to independence. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, 16650 Westgrove Drive, Suite 175, Addison, Texas, 75001.