Breakups after dating a widower for a year

Unfortunately, you may find that your dead partner’s family cannot come to terms with your new relationship, even if years have gone by.

This is usually because they feel that their relative is being forgotten by you.

A 'new relationship' doesn’t necessarily mean marriage, since quite a lot of widowed people now opt for ‘living together’, just sleeping together or even just dating.

Although it can be exciting to find love again, thoughts of the dead partner can cast a shadow over any new romance.

Sometimes people feel guilty about wanting company and physical love.

Often they have all sorts of other unresolved emotions about the death of the partner, and the more they try to ignore them, the more they tend to surface. But they might be about anger that the person has gone, or about resentment that other people are still a couple and can look forward to an old age together.

But there are no absolutes when it comes to people's feelings. In general, society still doesn't tend to condone new relationships that 'go public' before an interval of around one year.

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At other times, you can get a strong sense that some individuals think you are hard-hearted because you appear to have got over the death quickly. None of us should judge anyone else about how they are coping.

If your partner was dying for a long time, the chances are that you did loads of grieving before he or she actually stopped breathing.

You are then more likely to feel ready for a new life than someone whose spouse died suddenly would be.

Hopefully, many will be pleased that you have found happiness again.

But there may be jealousy from other friends who have been on their own for longer.

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