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However, the subtext is often that foreign women are a dangerous choice — too casual, the temptress, etc — or could not accept a Chinese way of life.

Generally, the pressure to split up comes from the family since, after all, in China, marriage is a family affair.

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Average Chinese men tend not to earn big salaries in China, unless they are, for example, bosses, high-powered execs, or an in-demand talent.

There was one Chinese boyfriend who told me, flat out, that his parents would never accept me.

I don’t doubt he loved me in the beginning — but once his family knew, I suspect they made it clear that there was no future in what we had.

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